so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
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APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
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Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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