I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
