I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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