whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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