i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
