Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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