Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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