he referred to my room as the tit cave...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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