im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
