I only kidnapped one of them. chill
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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