I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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