I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
