you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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