Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
