check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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