Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
