Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
