Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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