I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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