And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
