Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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