i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
