Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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