I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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