So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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