Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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