i don't plan on having that self control this summer
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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