That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
