You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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