if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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