Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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