You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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