Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I faked an abortion last night.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
