i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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