So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
