maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
