think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
