I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
