In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You pole danced in your parka.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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