and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
