Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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