The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
