just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
