I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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