Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
