I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
