I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
my poor anus
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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