There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
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I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
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If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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