So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
