had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
