We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
