either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
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My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
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Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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