how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
