I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
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I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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