Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize