Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
3 2 1 whiskey
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
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