You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I AM VODKA MAN
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
