WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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