Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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