idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
