PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
