When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
