OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
