He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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