It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Randomize
