If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
