Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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