Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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