is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
