Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
